Monday, January 2, 2012

Clumsy Ode to the New Years Resolution Dieters

I admit that I have a smugness problem. It took me years to admit it to myself, but it's pretty debilitating. The smugness. And I try to suppress it. But it's a deep down smugness. The kind that really only can be resolved by getting a well deserved punch in the face or vicious verbal slap from time to time.

The secret, but punchable smug-du-jour I'm having is because I started my diet in November. So my diet is not technically one of those New Years Resolutions we all have, that so many of us make with a steely resolve but then abondon with frustration or, more often than not, a well earned "screw it" after Hurculean efforts have been spent undoing years or decades of...let's call it "stress". Today I call my fatness "stress" only because I found myself reaching for a bag of Doritos left over from the New Years party whey my kids had their damaging way with our household furniture.

Anyway, because I started my diet in November I have some twisted sense of self satisfaction that I got into the annual weight-loss trend before it was cool....or maybe 10 months after it was cool if we're looking at 2011...that's the problem with circular years, really.

I never said my smugness made sense.

I oughtn't feel terribly smug, though, because I did, in fact, have a 2011 resolution to lose weight. I just gave up on it after trying like hell. It's frustrating. It really is. It's so hard. And it commands pretty much a daily focus. Who on earth can sustain such a thing? There's work to be done. House to be cleaned. Family matters to attend to..births, deaths, sicknesses, Lions games and a luke warm Redwings season. It's hard to keep up that level of commitment to something that seems to come so slowly.

The one meaningful thing some random dude said to me during my short period at the gym was this "It's a marathon, isn't it? Not a sprint."

I didn't give the statement much thought at the time. Just sort of two fellows sharing a nod and a smile and a pithy comment in passing.

But it really is important to think of it in terms of that. We none of us got fat overnight. We're not going to lose our fat overnight. We're really in this for the long haul. It's a permanent life change.


Daunting for me to think about it like that. But I suppose it would follow that if I'm taking on a dietary practice that I don't think I can sustain long term...maybe I should find one that I can. Paleo, Low Carb, Atkins, Grapefruit and Pomegranite, All Fruit, ultralowcalroie, South Beach diets are great and all. Unless you just can't eat like that forever.

Cuz that's kind of what this is, isn't it? It's something we gotta maintain forever...and if you're not that into coconut milk, maybe it shouldn't be the keystone of your diet plan.

One thing, though, that make sense is the conditioning the body to eat smaller portions. Heck..that's just gonna be a fact no matter what. And theoretically...THEORETICALLY...if I'm smaller my body will need, and hopefully ask for, less food anyway.

I do wish all new dieters the best of luck. Good god, I wish you the best of luck. I'm pretty much right there with ya. It's hard as hell and we gotta stand by each other.

Image from Ravensmagiclantern via Flickr Creative Commons

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