Wednesday, January 25, 2012

It's time to go back in time and tell past you to stick to the diet.

Today I am down 24 pounds since October. So says my new scale, which shall henceforth be known as Desiree, and the scale at the gym, known as Fatz. I can definitely see the weight loss in my face and head area. I can't stop looking at my neck in the mirror. There's some actual detail to it. I can see my adam's apple and some vague shapes of muscles or tendons in my neck as I turn my head side to side. Apparently it was all eclipsed by a layer of fat, or as I like to call it "energy."

Now, of course, the most important part of ANY modern diet plan is to find a time machine, prefereably a telephone booth or police box, and go back in time and tell my past self to stick to his diet or I won't be down 24 pounds today. It was a diet plan pioneered by the most excellent Bill S. Preston Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan.

I remember the day clearly. October 31st. The kids and I trick or treated with our friends, and when everybody else had their backs turned a steaming red phone booth fell from the sky and I popped out looking all svelte and thin and I said to me "Dude...I am YOU from the FUTURE. And if you just eat right and exercise a little more you'll look like THIS...OH! And REMEMBER! Your phone is under the easy chair at your parents' house. And say Hi to the princesses for me...*wink, wink*"

And then he was gone. Future me.

So that's why I was able to lose 24 pounds with so much resolve. Now I need to go back in time and be that me that says to me "Hey...this was all worth it." It will be most non heinous.

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